Almost 30 thoughts from a 4pm Math class...

...preceded by a two hour overture of Descartes and Hume and a note from Student Services saying my financial aid won't be processed because I don't go to class enough. This Act will conclude with a mad dash to Hess to fill up my gas tank and then off to work the closing shift. In the meantime, these are my tandem thoughts from a 4pm Math class:

1.) I just can't seem to break the 40% barrier on my quizzes.

2.) The professor's shirt is the same color as the quiz.

3.) The girl next to me thinks it is okay to touch my arm when she laughs.

4.) The quadratic curve is the only curve that doesn't make me horny.

5.) Algebra can burn in hell.

6.) No one smiles in this class. Oh yeah, it's math.

7.) The gender of the (I hesitate to say) girl in front me is up for speculation.

8.) Male.

9.) No Female.

10.) I feel like my professor would be more comfortable in a diaper.

11.) This building smells like coffee and ass.

12.) I wish the big titted girl didn't drop this class.

13.) Hello darkness my old friend, I've come to spank your dad again. Ahhhh....Paulie Simon.

14.) I've never been more flaccid.

15.) Man, the gingerbread man almost got away.

16.) Student question: "Is the reflection going to be on the y-axis if the negative sign is inside the square?" Teacher response: "Okay."

17.) I only looked good in one winter hat and I lost it in a Target parking lot.

18.) If I add a '1' in front of my quiz grade, I did pretty well.

19.) Satan's favorite game is probably Ultimate Frisbee. What a bro.

20.) I made the mistake of telling my girlfriend I've seen Carrie Fischer nudes.

21.) Thank you, Tony Hawk, for making skateboarding look easy. THPS Rules!

22.) Mickey Rourke is the lowest common denominator.

23.) Gender update: The girl in front of me shifted and I saw no sign of breasts.

24.) 3/x = 4-5/x

25.) Rule of Thumb: Cheat on all math quizzes. All the time.

26.) Why is the Phantom of the Opera there inside my mind?

27.) The kid to my right is wearing a batman hoodie, equipped with a utility belt and a mask, but no soap.

28.) I'm going to be late for work.